“I Hate Spending Money on Myself”
A Therapist Explains the Emotional Ties Between Spending Money and Self-Worth
A common theme amongst those of us that are chronic helpers is that we have a hard time justifying spending money on ourselves. The real kicker is that it honestly isn’t even correlated with how much money a person actually has. I see this same feeling people with all kinds of income and debts. That feeling starts going away when their self-worth improves, even if their financial circumstances haven’t.
How does that make any sense? Well, when you spend money on yourself, you are valuing how much your comfort and pleasure is worth. If you don’t feel worthy, you don’t value your own feelings very highly. That is when everything starts feeling too expensive.
That isn’t to say that there aren’t very real life-circumstances that make spending money on extras hard. Clearly, not everyone has the same access to what might bring them joy. However, many of life’s joys can be less expensive.
Like a nice routine of waking up with a glass of tea in the morning isn’t terribly expensive, I know that is a small bit of self-care that I find accessible. Or embracing $5 movies offered to go out for a cheaper date night can be real reinvigorating for the spirit (this offering pictured here is from the Majestic Chandler 9 theatre on Arizona Avenue and Chandler Heights Road, but most theatres have something similar). There are plenty of small ways to treat yourself to get used to the feeling that spending money on your own joy is okay.
It isn’t easy, but practicing with smaller expenses can really help you feel more comfortable spending more on yourself over time. Why would you want that? Because your actions are telling yourself how much you are worth. Spending a bit of money on your own enjoyment is reminding you of the point of earning that cash is to love your life and take pleasure in it! You deserve to feel good, so start acting like it, and you will soon feel that you deserve it.
