Becoming a Hero

Even if we can’t be our own heroes, many of us try to be strong for others. We might see ourselves as the superparent giving our kids the best childhood ever, the “good” worker who provides much better customer care than their coworkers, the cool cousin who protects the younger ones and guides them as a wise mentor, or the friend who always offers a shoulder to cry on. We all want to be a hero in some way.

Peter Levine, the founder of Somatic Experiencing, had asserted in his book Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma, “Real heroism comes from having the courage to openly acknowledge one’s experiences, not from suppressing or denying them.” I’ll agree! Let others admire your strength by seeing you confront what scares you, and showing that it scares you, inspiring them by doing it anyways. In providing therapy through an IFS lens (which also asserts that courage is needed for healing), I see that the suppression and denial of feelings just comes from a fear of feeling them. All of the intellectualizers I see recognize that while insight is helpful, they need to feel the feelings in order to move past them. So come to therapy! If you are scared, it is okay to practice courage side-by-side with someone you trust.

“Real heroism comes from having the courage to openly acknowledge one’s experiences, not from suppressing or denying them.”

~ from Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma, written by Peter Levine