Showing Love Creatively

I had a session recently where the topic of “not doing enough” in a relationship popped up. It is so common for us to get held up on what is specifically asked of us, that we don’t look for the meaning underneath. For example, when a partner wishes that you would plan more dates, even though you both are busy and you both would rather spend the night at home, they aren’t actually requesting more dates. What they actually want is to see that you think of them regularly, and for you to take the initiative to set aside time to show your affection. Like Clinton Smith shares: "Think beyond the vase! If you have a vase of flowers on a dining table for a quick dinner party, think about scattering flower petals, leaves, or even fruit along the tabletop." Think beyond the date, beyond sex, beyond doing the dishes, and all of the other asks of a partner within a relationship. What they are usually wanting is to see that they are loved, that they are worth your time and effort, that they aren’t alone to take on the endless tasks that need to get done in your household. So, if what they are asking for specifically doesn’t align with what you have to give, look at meeting the base need underneath the request and be creative. Write a note to leave on their packed lunch, give them hugs and kisses all throughout the day, and prioritize them. Relationship strains are rarely about the small things - they are about feeling loved and supported.

"Think beyond the vase! If you have a vase of flowers on a dining table for a quick dinner party, think about scattering flower petals, leaves, or even fruit along the tabletop."

~ Clinton Smith