Protecting Through Unabashed Love

When we love someone, we also critique them more than most. Deep down, this usually comes from a desire to protect them from hardships, missed opportunities and anticipated pain. Yet, this ruins them. Take these words from Carl Rogers: "People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, ‘Soften the orange a bit on the righthand corner.’ I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds." You don’t need to change a sunset for it to be wonderful. You just need to slow down and appreciate it. Sure, we never want our loved ones to suffer, but nitpicking never saves them from that. In fact, hearing constant words spoken about how they can improve tells them that they aren’t enough - that even a person who loves them dearly cannot look at them without seeing their flaws. So, step back, and appreciate the many facets of those you treasure, and treat them as such, like treasure. When they see how much you adore who they are in their entirety, they are reminded of their amazingness. They are less affected by those that don’t care to notice how fantastic they are, because they know that such criticisms have more to do with the eyes of the beholder than it does with them. You protect them from the hardships of the world by showing them who they are through the eyes of someone who unconditionally loves them.

"People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds."

~ Carl Rogers