Internal Family Systems (IFS)

What is IFS?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is one of my favorite ways to help people understand themselves more deeply. It’s a powerful therapy model that invites you to explore and heal the different parts of you - including those that may be causing distress or feeling out of balance. The IFS model believes that we all have multiple "parts" (like different internal voices or aspects of our personality), and these parts can sometimes conflict with one another, leading to emotional difficulties or self-sabotage. Every action a part takes is aimed at avoiding pain, even if it manifests in self-destructive or harmful behaviors. Through IFS, we work to help these protective parts learn to trust that you, the Self, can hold and heal the pain they are protecting you from, so they no longer need to protect you in that way. By restoring balance and healing those wounds, you can experience deeper peace and emotional harmony.

How Does IFS Work?
In IFS, we’ll work together to identify and understand the different parts of you, each with its own unique role, perspective, and needs. These parts might include the inner critic, the caretaker, the wounded child, or the protector, among others. Some parts may have been shaped by past experiences and are holding onto unresolved pain or trauma. These parts are often simply trying to protect you from emotional suffering, but sometimes they can act in ways that are not helpful in the long term, like through self-criticism or avoidance. The goal of IFS is to help you get to know these parts and build trust with them—so they no longer feel like they have to push, hide, or protect you in the same ways they always have. By unburdening these parts from their past wounds, we create the possibility for healthier behaviors and emotional balance.

What Problems Does IFS Work Best For?

  • Trauma and childhood wounds

  • Anxiety and depression

  • Chronic self-criticism and low self-esteem

  • Emotional overwhelm and burnout

  • Relationship difficulties (including with self or others)

  • Unresolved grief and loss

This list is just a starting point; IFS can also be effective for many problems, like individuals experiencing struggling with perfectionism, self-sabotage, eating disorders, anger, shame, and even addiction. Since IFS focuses on deep healing of the internal system, it can be particularly beneficial for anyone feeling like their internal conflicts are preventing them from moving forward in life. By addressing the emotional pain that these protective parts are holding, healing can begin, and balance can be restored.

 

IFS is especially effective for people who are:

  • Overwhelmed, stuck, unable to move forward, frozen in place

  • Fighting off the insults hurled by an inner critic

  • Disconnected from their life, just going through the motions, unable to really think about the future and what they want

  • Wanting to understand their behaviors and thought patterns on a deeper level

  • Interested in an approach that fosters self-compassion and empowerment

  • Seeking to heal the pain that has been driving certain behaviors, and learning to live in harmony with all parts of themselves

 

What to Expect in IFS Sessions
Sessions are typically introspective and focused on understanding your inner world. We’ll work together to identify different parts of you and explore the emotions, memories, and experiences that influence these parts. Through this process, we’ll help these parts trust that you can hold and heal the pain they’ve been carrying. This may involve unburdening them from their protective roles so they no longer feel the need to act out of fear or pain. The work in IFS can range from more conversational exploration to experiential exercises that help you connect with your parts and allow them to heal. Over time, most people using IFS report feeling more balanced, grounded, and connected to their true selves as they heal the emotional wounds that were once driving unhealthy behaviors.

 

Is IFS Right for You?

  • Do you feel disconnected from parts of yourself or struggle with inner conflict?

  • Are you experiencing self-criticism, shame, or emotional overwhelm?

  • Do you want to heal past wounds and develop a more balanced, compassionate relationship with yourself?

  • Are you ready to heal the pain that has been driving certain behaviors and take back control of your emotional well-being?

If you’re unsure whether IFS is right for you, feel free to reach out for a free consultation, and I’ll help guide you to the best therapy option for your needs.